Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge

Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge is a sequel to the first Pirates (XXX) movie. While we usually recommend Pirates as a great intro for couples, you don’t necessarily need to watch it prior to Pirates 2, but it will introduce you to the characters and their idiosyncrasies. What’s that you say? How can porn have real characters and a plot that has enough meat to carry into a sequel? Well if you have to ask that, then you probably need to watch these movies. Here’s the trailer:

Like the original, this budget was extraordinary for an adult film at $8 million according to wikipedia. Because of this, it has a tendency to play out much more like an action movie and maybe less so as a porn film. So you may go awhile as the story weaves and twists and turns before you get into a sex scene, and like the first one, the sex scenes move at a good clip instead of taking 30 minutes to get through. We liked that, but depending on our mood, we found this movie to be overly story heavy, so take that for what its worth. It is also long at 137 minutes. We actually liked the story though it’s obviously got cheese and isn’t Oscar worthy, but it took us multiple viewings over months (we don’t actually watch that much porn) to get through, so we had to try and remember what was going on in the tale. But those are minor issues, this movie is definitely recommended.

As usual, the women are gorgeous, if not a little silicone enhanced (at least some). The men are the best in the biz, though we still think Evan Stone (who reprises his role as goofball Captain Edward Reynolds) looks like a caveman, but he plays his part. The story itself goes something like this. The lover of the dead pirate Stagnetti is a empress with dark magic powers. She kills some guy who ate a magic pearl and uses the pearl to bring Stagnetti back from the dead. Cut to the second story with the pirate hunters. One of the crew member’s cousin is to be arrested, so the Captain and his first mate (played by Jesse Jane – quick aside: Molly and I have differing opinions on her. She’s a pretty and perky typical porn star with fakeness, which doesn’t bother me but Molly doesn’t particularly care for) go to Jamaica to discuss pardon with the Governor there. However, after some sex scenes on the island, the Governor says he might pardon the person in question if the crew hunts down some other pirates and gets the treasure back. The two sides fight in a batttle at the end. Along the way there are tight situations, battles with half-way decent special effects (for $8 million it was better than the first one), action with monsters, and of course lots of sex.

There must have been 10 or 11 sex scenes in this one, and a wide variety. There are costumes, soft lighting, sets, the whole nine yards. There’s only a couple of traditional man/woman sex scenes, and a fair amount of three-ways and anal. Maybe the most memorable scene is a roman-style orgy. For action and softcore naked bodies and fake sex, Molly and I watch Spartacus on Netflix (a Starz series), which can be a great alternative for those who find hard-core porn, well, too hard core. The orgy scene reminded us of some of the Spartacus scenes. Well shot in costumes, wide and narrow focus to get the full picture. It was something well done and that you don’t see in most adult films, or at least not in a way that is erotic.

This movie is a must watch. It is probably too long by 30 minutes to an hour, but it has a good mix of story and sex, and probably something for most viewers. Pirates 2 probably relied too much on special effects, and has a lot of night scenes, but tries hard on the plot. The sex ups the ante a little compared to the original, with some more three-ways and anal and we thought a little rougher. But we felt it was still good for the semi-initiated to adult films. They even showed it on the University of Maryland campus (as part of a bigger story on free speech), so it is somewhat mainstream in the genre.

Anyways, this film should be near the top of the heap for production values and quality of work. Whether or not it fits in your wheelhouse is another thing, but we’d recommend you check it out.

Happy fucking!

-Alex and Molly

Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge

9.175

Women looks

10/10

    Men looks

    9/10

      Plot

      9/10

        Sex

        9/10

          Pros

          • Well shot
          • Involved plot
          • Decent special effects
          • Lots of varied sex
          • Costumes and sets were top notch

          Cons

          • Story too long
          • Not too many traditional boy/girl scenes
          • Much of movie shot at night
          • Some silicone on actresses

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