How to Watch Porn as a Couple

I figure it would be a good idea to write about our experiences watching adult movies, or porn if you have no manners, as a couple. For you men reading, it is much different than watching it alone. First, if you’re reading this and have the typical suburban wife who hasn’t delved too deeply into this topic, then the types of movies you’re likely watching are going to be more sensitive and romantic. Second, because of this, and because women get turned on differently and more slowly, it will be a much slower buildup than men watching alone. But if you broach the subject in the proper manner, you’ll likely find your wife is down to check out these taboo films. We were on a trip to Mexico with 6 other couples at an adults only resort, and every one of those soccer moms would be talking about the porn station that was part of the hotel TV package when we’d be lounging at the pool in the morning like they were giggly teenagers.

With that said, here are some tips for having a good experience watching adult movies together.

Find the right time and place

We have kids, so we’re not doing this every night or every weekend. With so much going on, we want to be in the right mood, not exhausted, and not having kids sick or a sleep over or some other obligation like getting up early. When we have an evening like this, we have some wine or spirits to loosen up, head up to the bedroom, and lock the door. We’re old school and still buy actual DVDs of movies we play on our bedroom TV. The TV doesn’t actually get used much, but it sure is nice to have on these occasions. So we light some candles, turn on the adult movie of the night, and settle in for some fun times. When you get this far, you should be batting near 100% for fun times as a couple, even if the movie sucks really, really bad (which there is a good chance).

Lower your expectations

This isn’t an academy award movie you’re about to watch, it’s a movie with where most of the budget goes to the “talent.” As such, this will not be quality production, usually. And everyone has different tastes. What you think will be really hot and get your wife turned on is likely not to be the case. I know, I thought Molly would LOVE certain romantic type flicks I picked out, but that was often not the case. Instead, it took awhile to find movies we both would like. It’s ok to have failure in something that isn’t loved, as you can still usually laugh about it and use it as a backdrop to your own sexy times.

Take your time

If you’re like us, you’ll ramp up into aroused mode pretty quickly after the first sex scene. Instead of jumping right into it, savor the moment and let it linger. If you’re into a plot movie, let the plot build a little and get into it a little. A movie like Pirates actually has a plot and the sex scenes aren’t super long, so you can actually pretend you’re watching a movie that just happens to have people fucking. So after you’re mind is good and engaged, and your sexy wife is good and warmed up, you can start making your move. We think it’s sort of fun to be replicating what’s going on the television, or of one person starting to get the other off while the other watches for awhile. Or both watch while doing it doggy style. Again, take your time, you know your both getting laid. Pull out that toy you have in the drawer that doesn’t get enough use, really explore your bodies together. It can be a lot of fun instead of the usual rush job us parents often settle for.

Have the remote handy

Like I mentioned, most movies, even couples ones, the sex goes on forever. I’d estimate for most movies that a single scene from foreplay to money shot takes 30 minutes. Even the most hardcore fan will get bored with that time frame, so don’t expect your wife who’s never watched porn except as a dare in her sorority house to want to watch a 12 minute blow job, or fake tits bounce for 10 minutes in the same position. Have that fast forward button handy, and don’t be afraid to fast forward past actors, actresses, scenes, or whole movies if you aren’t feeling the vibe.

 Don’t be afraid to pull the ripcord

Like the remote control tip above, if you find yourself in a film that is just off from your vibe or bringing up uncomfortable feelings, just shut it off and make love the old fashioned way without visual entertainment. So many movies today, even couples ones, explore taboo topics like cheating, or sexing up a boss, or BDSM, or incest. Depending on your mood and your specific thought process or history, what could be fun for one couple could bring up bad thoughts or emotions in another. And some movies are just bad. You can tell the porn actresses are just hating their job. Pull the ripcord and hopefully if those candles are still lit, turn on some love making music that you may like (we’ve had sex to everything from Mumford and Sons to Portishead to Morrissey).

Talk about it after

After you’re both spent and find yourself in sweaty, messy sheets, talk about the experience. What you liked or didn’t like about the movie. If you’d do it again. If you’d like to try to find a different style of movie, or one that explores light bondage, or one that doesn’t have silicone boobs. Whatever you liked or didn’t, there’s something that you will find that suits your tastes, if porn is for you. Maybe you find you like the kinkier or edgier stuff, and takes you to new places. That’s good, to grow and expand as a couple is something many don’t ever do, stuck in the same rut for decades (if they make it that far). So embrace the fact you aren’t the norm even watching porn, and keep that spark alive!

It’s ok if it’s not up your alley, but for the open minded couple who can get into the silliness of it, it can be a fun change of pace. We laugh and make fun and then fuck every time we end up turning one on, but we’ve also certainly bought some stinkers.

If you’re not sure where to start, as a couple, I’d recommend the New Sensations Romance series of movies. Find one that sounds good to you and start there. The women usually have real boobs, even some pubic hair sometimes, and they are more like movies (often directed by women) with real plots (and hard core sex too). Or check out either of the two big budget Pirates or Pirates 2 movies. Those are more like cheesy skinemax films and the sex scenes are fairly short compared to most, so are a nice fantasy intro for many couples.

Anyways, hope this helped, happy fucking!

-Alex and Molly

 

 

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